I am
by VisualExperiments
Summary: Bakura is locked away by his Yami. He slowly begins to lose himself, his memories, and his sanity. Some dark secrets are revealed about Yugi Motou..by Yugi Motou. And Jounouchi shows up with some unexplained injuries.
1. Default Chapter

Kano: Ah, poor Ryou Bakura. He's just so easy to torture.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. I really wish I did, but I don't. Please don't sue me.  
  
-- I Am: Insanity -  
  
Sometimes I wonder if I'm insane.  
  
I hear voices.  
  
Well, not voices. A voice.  
  
I hear a voice from somewhere in the back of my mind. He calls me names, berates me for my every thought-as if the very breath I draw offends him.  
  
Sometimes he doesn't say anything at all, but I can still feel him. That's how I know he's real. Even when he isn't yelling at me, I can still sense him.  
  
He whispers to me late at night because he knows that I can't sleep in this dark place.  
  
He tells me that I'm a murderer.  
  
He says I killed my parents, but I know that that can't be true.  
  
He says a lot of things.  
  
..But if it isn't true, if my Parent's aren't dead, then where are they? Why don't they come visit me in this place, wherever it is I am?  
  
Where are my friends?  
  
I can't remember any of them, not beyond vague flashes of colors, emotions of happiness that I can no longer feel. The only reason I know that they once existed somewhere outside of my own twisted mind is that he tells me about them too.  
  
He has never accused me of killing them. Instead he claims- no, boasts- that he killed them, but that I allowed it.  
  
Or atleast that I did nothing to stop him.  
  
My mind jumps from thought to thought; I can't seem to keep it focused. I wonder how long I've been here. Have years flown by while I was unaware of them, or has it only been a few days? Have I grown into a senile old man who only dreams of his youth?  
  
No, I can see my hands. They are thin, pale, but smooth and untouched by age.  
  
I don't know why I let myself come so close to believing him. Maybe I will never learn.  
  
He says a lot of things.  
  
// You really are pathetic, aren't you? //  
  
I turn, blindly searching for a face which I have yet to see. Although he has asked me a question, I know he does not truly expect a response. Maybe I really am as weal and stupid as he claims I am.  
  
' Who are you? '  
  
The words tumble from my cracked lips, dry and hoarse. I am perhaps more surprised to hear them than he is. In all the time that have been here- or that he has been here with me- I have not once spoken to him.  
  
// So, the weakling speaks now? //  
  
' Tell me who you are.'  
  
My voice is louder now, not so rough as before.  
  
// Why, my little Light, I am you. //  
  
And then, he is there.  
  
His face is only a few inches from mine, and he closes the gap little by little, leaning closer to me.  
  
I catch a glimpse of long white hair, eyes that are such a deep red that they are almost black. He smiles, a slight smirk without a trace of humor, so that I can see his small white teeth, and his canines are sharp and pointed.  
  
I can feel his breath on my cheek, his body so close to my own. He closes the small space between us, pressing his lips against mine forcefully.  
  
He captures my bottom lip between his teeth, piercing the thin skin, and I imagine I can feel his tongue as it brushes over the cut.  
  
And then he is gone.  
  
I can hear his laughter echoing in my mind, and it isn't until my throat becomes sore that I realize that I am the one laughing.  
  
I can taste the blood on my tongue from where my lip has started to bleed, and I can still feel his soft white hair brush over my cheek.  
  
He says I am insane.  
  
He says a lot of things. 


	2. Innocence

Kano: And now it is Yugi's turn. ..Poor Yugi. How did I ever talk him into this?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Did you actually think I did? You're insane, aren't you? Admit it.  
  
- I Am: Innocence -  
  
1 white pill. 2 green pills.  
  
3 green pills if today is Wendsday.  
  
Too bad I can't seem to remember what day it is.  
  
I suddenly feel his hand on my shoulder, a gentle pressure just to one side of my neck. He leans over me, surveying the situation with an unwavering calm and endless knowledge in his bright red eyes.  
  
God, I wish I could be as controlled as he is.  
  
' You don't want to be anything like me Little One. And today is Tuesday. '  
  
I can almost feel it when he smiles, and after I've swallowed the bitter pills he disappears back into his soul room. I know he won't have the chance to come out again until I'am half way to school, and for the millionth time I wish that he didn't have to be kept a secret.  
  
Bakura, the only person in our small group of friends who knows about my medication, is the first person I meet up with on my way to school. He barely nods a greeting to me, but his coldness does not surprise me. He has been distant like that for the past few weeks.  
  
Yami seems to think there is something wrong with him, and informed me of it that first day, as if there was no way I could have noticed it on my own.  
  
But why would I notice?  
  
I am his Little One, his innocent charge.  
  
I am, perhaps, innocence itself in the eyes of my Other.  
  
Depending on the amount of time it takes for Honda and Jounouchi to catch up to us, Yami may or may not come out. Today the two boys have, according to Honda, managed to stay out of all of their usual street fights, so they join Bakura and I rather early.  
  
I can barely muster the usual smile as Jounouchi claps me on the back, but his normally cheerful greeting of ' Hey Yug'. ' never comes.  
  
With my medication's euphoric effects still to kick in, I can see how tired and drawn he is. Honda hangs a few steps behind Jounouchi, and I glance back at him, wondering how he couldn't have noticed the state of his best friend.  
  
By his expression I can tell he has, but I can see he is surprised that I have noticed it too. Bakura alone seems unfazed by Jounouchi's obvious depression, but then when no on else is looking, he sends me a glance that says ' I know. I see it too. '  
  
And how couldn't he?  
  
Even Jounouchi couldn't pass those bruises off as ' scars from battle with the mighty and evil toaster. '  
  
I laugh and Honda teases him when he tries anyway.  
  
I am the innocent one.  
  
The medicine kicks in in a rush of energy and dopamine, as it always does.  
  
I am the innocent one.  
  
It makes it easier to forget things.  
  
TBC 


	3. Responsibility

Kano: ::cough :: Alright, so it's Anzu's turn. I probably wouldn't have let her have her turn since I know not many people like her..but I promised myself I would. So there.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. I do however own a jar of peanut butter, a googly-eyed fish, and the souls of two demented Styrofoam dolls.  
  
- I am: Rationality -  
  
I am responsible.  
  
I am rational.  
  
I have to be. Taking care of three younger siblings isn't easy. That on top of all the schoolwork..it can get very demanding.  
  
' Anzu, Mino stole my teddy bear!'  
  
Very difficult.  
  
' I did not Katarina, you're a liar!'  
  
Sometimes I wish that Mother was still around.  
  
' You two need to stop fighting so much. What would-'  
  
But the two youngest children had already run onto the school bus.  
  
' Now Shizuku, remember that I won't be home until late tonight, so-'  
  
' I know Anzu, I won't forget. Bye! '  
  
And then all three of them are gone, just in time for me to catch up with the group a few blocks down the street.  
  
Yugi is enthusiastically discussing duel monsters with Jounouchi. My mood brightened the moment he greeted me.  
  
That always seemed to happen to whenever Yugi was around. No matter what my mood, no matter what the situation, he always seemed to have the answers.  
  
He always seemed happy.  
  
The other boys were another matter entirely.  
  
Bakura was, without a doubt, a strange person. At the moment he was walking a few paces behind everyone else, hands shoved into his pockets, head tilted back so that he was staring at the sky.  
  
His expression was unreadable.  
  
Honda was, as usual, somewhere near Jounouchi's side poking fun at him. Yugi joined in jokingly ever now and then, but Jounouchi's rebukes were half-hearted at best.  
  
After taking care of three noisy little kids, I couldn't help but make fun of him too.  
  
' What happened to your face Jounouchi, did you lose another fight with the refrigerator door?'  
  
For the rest of the day Jounouchi seemed down.  
  
Not that I really noticed.  
  
It's hard to focus on other people when I'am trying to organize the next 48 hours of my life so that it safely revolves around my school life, dance tryouts, and the lives of three young children.  
  
Very hard.  
  
Very difficult.  
  
But I'am the rational one.  
  
I have to be.  
-TBC 


	4. Loyalty

Kano: Yes, I know it's short. I promise I'll have the next chapter up before Monday, just so you guys don't start throwing rotten vegetables at me. ..Unless you have some non-rotten cheese. Preferably Colby-jack. Then you can wing it at me all you want.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-oh. I also do not own a hunk of Colby-jack cheese, although I wish I did.  
  
- I am: Loyalty -  
  
Following Jounouchi home isn't as easy as you might think.  
  
He knows more shortcuts and back-alleys then even I do, and I've lived on the streets of Domino longer then I've lived anywhere else.  
  
He doesn't know I'am following him, which is a good thing. I don't feel like getting into a fist fight right now, and especially not here.  
  
I have enough people to worry about without adding my best friend to the list.  
  
The blonde abruptly turns into an alley, and I follow half a minute later.  
  
It only now occurs to me that, despite all the years I've known Jounouchi, I haven't once been to his house.  
  
I don't think anyone from school has.  
  
What I thought was an alley before is actually, upon closer inspection, a rather narrow street. Random graffiti is spray-painted over the brick buildings, and only a few of the apartment buildings still retain their front doors.  
  
Jounouchi has disappeared into one of those doorless entryways.  
  
I am loyalty.  
  
It begins with Jounouchi, spreading to our small group of rather odd friends, traveling out in ever-widening circles. It ends with the world, or perhaps it doesn't end at all.  
  
But my loyalty, my friendship, lies with Jounouchi.  
  
It always has.  
  
I won't abandon him now.  
  
-TBC 


	5. Dichotomy part one

Kano: And now it is time for a new point of view. Everyone can guess on their own..you shouldn't need me to tell you who it is anyway. Oh, and watch out for random cuss words.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. However, I do now own this lovely hunk of Colby-jack cheese. Yay! Cheese! Thankyou Itsame-kun!  
  
- I am: Dichotomy - part 1 -  
  
It was as much for his own safety as for anything that might have been gained on my part.  
  
Not that I have gained very much.  
  
But, yes. I had much to keep my Bakura safe from.  
  
That indigo-haired Bastard known as his Father for one thing. How dare he ignore his own son, abandon this..fragile boy for months at a time.  
  
I was the one who watched Bakura, night after night, a small frown on his lips, chin cupped in an open palm, staring out the window into nothingness.  
  
I was the one who had to listen to him cry out for his Father as night as he tossed and turned in bed.  
  
The days faded into weeks.  
  
The weeks drug on into months.  
  
I wanted to kill him. I wanted to rip the man's fucking head off and- but Bakura was so happy when his Father returned.  
  
I couldn't do it.  
  
I couldn't extinguish the light I saw in Bakura's eyes, forsake the pure joy I felt in his heart in the few days his Father could spare to be with him.  
  
And yes, perhaps subconsciously, I awaited the day the man made a mistake. One slip up, anything to upset my reincarnation-and the archaeologist was mine.  
My opportunity would come all too soon.  
  
Bakura had been anxious that whole day. Of course, this was nothing new. He always became easily excited when his Father was due home.  
  
Unfortunately, the day his Father was to arrive came and went. It wasn't until late the next night that the call from some obscure location in Egypt came through.  
  
I watched in silence as Bakura's expression went from ecstatic to emotionless in only a few minutes. His expression reminded me of- well, say the Pharaoh's Brat had arrived at our house out of the blue and slapped Bakura. That was exactly how he looked.  
  
I don't think I'll ever forget it.  
  
At some point the conversation ended. Bakura hung up the phone slowly without saying goodbye and, careful to avoid my suspicious gaze, he made his way up to his room. I heard the bedroom door as it clicked softly shut behind him.  
  
Bakura never shut his bedroom door.  
  
I don't remember how long it was between the time I heard the door close and the time I was opening that door.  
  
I didn't knock; I never knocked. There was simply no reason to. I knew Bakura inside and out. He belonged to me.  
  
There was nothing he could hide from me.  
  
I know now that this wasn't entirely true. There was so much that I didn't know about him..that now I might never know about him.  
  
When I came into the room, he was huddled in a corner of his bed, trying not to cry in front of me. Needless to say, I was too angry to comfort him. I knew this had something to do with his Father, but the next thing he said confirmed it.  
  
And then he began to quietly sob, and I left him to it.  
  
He cried for a long time.  
  
It wasn't until late that night, so late that what was today had actually become what tomorrow was yesterday, that I ventured back into his room.  
  
Bakura was asleep, as well he should have been, and the tears had left translucent streaks running down his face.  
  
I curled up there beside him on the bed, though my insubstantial body could offer him no warmth, tugging the blankets higher up around his shoulders.  
  
No one got away with making Bakura cry.  
  
No one.  
  
When next he awoke, his Father would be dead.  
  
-TBC 


	6. Dichotomy part two

Kano: Now it's time for part two of our favorite Psychopath's ramblings. Can you feel the insanity ?! Can you ?!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. And I ate the hunk of cheese from Itsame. I do, however, own this nifty necklace I bought from a Peddler-Goth during homeroom today. Yay for Peddler-Goths and their interesting merchandise!  
  
- I am: Dichotomy - part two -  
  
I don't know how he knew.  
  
I don't know how he found out.  
  
By all accounts on the speaking box, Bakura's Father had died when a burial site they were excavating caved in. I thought it an ironic ending.  
  
..And yet he knew.  
  
That afternoon when he came back from school, he refused to speak to me; he wouldn't even look at me.  
  
I couldn't understand why.  
  
There was no possible way he could have known what I had done, and even if he somehow did, he must have realized that I did it to protect him.  
  
Ra be damned, everything I do is for him!  
  
I confronted him finally, in his bedroom. I closed the door silently behind me, waiting for him to say something- anything. But I was not prepared for him to lash out at me.  
  
No, not my gentle Ryou Bakura.  
  
Yet I still remember the dark intonation of his voice.  
  
He shouted at me- well, as much as Bakura can shout. I saw the anger in his light blue eyes, and when I reached out to him through our mind it was palpable, like so much sand blown through the air.  
  
His anger fed my own animosity.  
  
How dare he disrespect me like this..how dare he yell at me! Me!  
  
I hit him.  
  
He was so small, more delicate then his adrenaline-pumped fury would have had me believe.  
  
I had never raised my hand, or indeed my voice, to him before. He stared up at me from where he had landed on the floor, and I knew his look of shock must have mirrored my own.  
  
I tried to speak to him, to make sure he was alright, but I knew the fear I saw in his eyes would never go away.  
  
I had to protect him.  
  
I had to protect him from me.  
  
I did it to keep him safe..always for him.  
  
And yet because of all my long years trapped inside the Sennen Ring, trapped in it's unending darkness, I never thought..  
  
I didn't think he would start to forget, that the fear he had for me now would produce those phantom images and voices of myself.  
  
And yet he did.  
  
And still he does.  
  
I've tried..I've tried a thousand times to reach him and draw him out of this prison he wanted no part of, but his mind his distant..no broken, but more like it has been buried and lost somewhere far away.  
I miss having him around. It is not so much any particular quality or emotion of his that I miss. It is all of him, his depression, his silence, his happiness- always present, and yet fleeting, his anger just as rare. And that ever-present light, that willingness to always try and see the best in people.  
  
I know that I can't just not go to school, not act as Bakura would have. It would attract too much attention to myself, to the fact that I am not who everyone thinks I am.  
  
No.  
  
My weak, frightened, insane little Bakura..I can't abandon him either.  
  
I am his protector..and yet..  
  
It felt good when I hit him.  
  
Hearing him cry out, seeing that fear in his eyes and that fine sheen of sweat on his alabaster skin.  
  
It was only in that moment that I realized how completely I controlled him, that he truly was mine to do with as I pleased. No one could stop me.  
  
Now that moment is gone, but I know the emotion is not. It is buried, much like Bakura's memories.  
  
Despite all the pain it has caused him-even if I had another chance I would not stay my hand.  
  
In fact I think I would kick him while he lay on the floor.  
  
And I would like it.  
  
-TBC 


	7. Stupidity

Kano: And now we're returning to the Jounouchi/Honda section of this story. You do remember them, don't you?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. Do I? ..No, no I don't. Darn.  
  
- I am: Stupidity -  
  
I am the clown.  
  
All my life I've tried to make others laugh, to make everyone around me happy.  
  
But I've finally come to the conclusion that, when it really comes down to it, there isn't anyone around to make me happy.  
  
I play the fool for my friends, but I could never be anything more then that to them.  
  
Well I am more then that.  
  
I am.  
  
I continue on my way home. There aren't many people in this part of Domino, and for good reason. It's not exactly one of the best neighborhoods to raise a family in.  
  
It isn't any wonder that my Mom and Serenity split as soon as Mom could find a new job. I'am starting to think I should have gone with them, and it's hard to believe that I chose to ' stick it out ' with my Father.  
  
I guess I used to be a pretty stupid kid.  
  
According to most people, I'am still a pretty stupid kid.  
  
I turn onto my street, a mess of run-down buildings and crumbling sidewalks. There aren't many neighbors despite the apartment buildings, and two rival gangs who enjoy fighting their wars out on the streets have scared away even the hardiest of people.  
  
It's hard trying to stay out of the crossfire, but I've developed my own..method of keeping safe.  
  
Or rather I've relapsed into that method.  
  
Honda would kill me if he knew.  
  
The door to my apartment building was ripped off one night when the police.. or whoever, were too anxious in getting inside. It isn't so bad now, but during the winter months it can get pretty cold.  
  
I step through the doorway and start up the staircase, stretching a little at the first landing. I haven't been sleeping as much as I should, but I don't think anyone in my position would be able to sleep either.  
  
After all, I only found out a few weeks ago that my younger sister Serenity was slowly going blind.  
  
It was a huge shock to me because-God, of all people, Serenity didn't deserve this.  
  
I turn to start up the second flight of stairs, hand loosely gripping the metal railing, beginning to hate the fact that my apartment is on the top floor.  
  
Suddenly there is a shuffle of footsteps behind me. Before I can turn around I find myself pressed face first against a wall, one arm twisted behind my back at an impossible angle.  
  
' Hello Jounouchi. '  
  
I immediately recognize the voice of the leader of one of those rivaling gangs - Jonas.  
  
Shit. Why him?  
  
He leaned closer, his mouth resting against my ear. I had to resist the sudden urge to disembowel him and strangle him with his own intestines.  
  
I could only imagine what kind of trouble that would get me into with his ' friends '. Probably more then it was worth.  
  
' You're such a little slut. Why don't you get down on your knees and beg for me? '  
  
I am the clown..  
  
I am a fool..  
  
I am so goddamn stupid..  
  
I heard a short thunk, and then the weight on my on my arms and back was gone. I whirled around immediately, my fist already raised to beat the crap out of Jonas, gang or no gang.  
  
Instead I found myself staring into a pair of familiar grey-brown eyes.  
  
' Honda, what the hell are ya doin' here? '  
  
-TBC 


	8. Insincerity

Kano: Heh heh. Yes, you are not hallucinating. Two updates in one day. I think that makes up for nearly a month with nothing. Admittedly, it's short, but still. Okay..so maybe not.  
  
- We are: Insincerity -  
  
' It looks like I'am saving your ass. What are you doing here? '  
  
Honda kicked the unconscious Jonas in the ribs. Sure, the guy looked tough, but one well-placed knock to the head and that was it.  
  
' ..I live here. And you still haven't answered my question. '  
  
The taller boy shrugged, a ripple running through his blue school jacket.  
  
' I followed you here. '  
  
Honda put up a hand in defense before Jounouchi could become angry.  
  
' I just wanted to know where your bruises are coming from Jounouchi. I know you aren't telling me the truth. I thought you trusted me more then that? '  
  
The blonde edged along the wall, farther away from Jonas and closer to the staircase.  
  
The only question was..could he run faster then Honda?  
  
' Lay off man. It's none of your business. I can take care of myself, okay? '  
  
For a moment Honda looked angry. He gestured to the motionless Jonas.  
  
' You call that taking care of yourself?! I saw it Jounouchi. He could have killed you.. he could have- '  
  
Jounouchi nodded grimly.  
  
' Yeah, I know Honda, I'am to young ta be doin' the things I do. I mean, this is me we're talking about. I'am not exactly the smartest guy around. Sweet fuck, I shouldn't even be allowed to go out alone. I might hurt myself. '  
  
His tone was self-mocking, utterly without humor. Honda blinked in surprise, trying to remember when his slightly dense best friend had been replaced with this cynical clone.  
  
' Jounouchi, you know that isn't what I meant..I'am worried about you, really. '  
  
He reached out to Jounouchi, who suddenly seemed like a cornered animal, always keeping the same amount of distance between the two of them.  
  
' Honda, will you just leave me alone! I don't need you looking out for me all the time, alright?! I'am sick of it! '  
  
Jounouchi turned and began to walk upstairs, but Honda, with his longer legs, easily tackled him. They both landed hard on the steps. Jounouchi began struggling almost immediately, but when he saw that Honda wasn't going to be backing off anytime soon he stopped, contenting himself by glaring up at his best friend.  
  
Honda glared right back.  
  
' I'am not leaving until you tell me. '  
  
There was a silence that seemed to stretch out past the apartment buildings, beyond Domino City. The whole of the earth had paused, waiting for the revelation.  
  
Jounouchi sighed.  
  
And then he began to speak.  
  
** 


	9. I Am: Vertigo

Kano: No, I have not contracted a fatal disease and died of brain hemorrhaging. What's that? My eye is hanging out of my socket? Uh..that was like that when I got here..  
  
- I am Vertigo -  
  
Yugi was staring at me- again.  
  
I stared right back, just barely resisting the urge to growl at him.  
  
I knew it wasn't something Bakura would have done. The boy was too mild- mannered to even try glaring at anyone, much less anyone he considered a friend. But I had never been one to back down from other people, and even now it was not something I wanted to start.  
  
Eventually the spiky-haired youth turned back to his homework. Yugi and Bakura had been meeting at the Library every day for the past few weeks. I had allowed it, perhaps against my better judgment.  
  
After all, it is always better to have a willing accomplice then an unwilling slave.  
  
Now I was starting to think that that wasn't quite so true. If I had never allowed these meetings in the first place, I wouldn't be trapped here trying to decipher Geo-met-ry problems. I briefly toyed with the idea of setting the books on fire and killing whoever it was that assigned them to me in the first place, but Yugi interrupts my rapidly unfolding plans to murder Bakura's teacher.  
  
' Bakura, I have to..you know. I'll be right back. '  
  
I nod, smiling as I knew Bakura would have, watching Yugi as he wandered off to the bathroom to take those strange mind-altering pills of his.  
  
When Yugi was younger, his parents died and he became very depressed. Even after he moved in with his Grandfather, Sogoroku, Yugi was withdrawn in school. The depression he fell into would explain his choice of clothing, and little more then a year ago he had tried to kill himself.  
  
Funny that the same objects he would have used to end his life are now the only things keeping him sane.  
  
That is why he is the way he is now - naïve and friendly to a fault.  
  
I know this because Bakura knew this.  
  
Bakura knew this because Yugi confided it to him.  
  
I find it puzzling that Yugi would share his darkest secret with Bakura..I never thought they were that close. I guess that is just one more thing I never learned about him, that I am only learning now when the knowledge does me no good.  
  
I shake my head, trying to break out of my inner monologue and refocus on 'my' homework.  
  
It doesn't help that I never bothered to learn how to read Japanese, although Bakura, being the person he was, had offered to help me.  
  
.The person he is. Not was. Is.  
  
It is difficult not to think of him as dead, even though I can feel his faint presence deep inside the Sennen Ring.  
  
But he needs to be there. To be safe.  
  
I have to keep him safe from everything, and if that means he forgets things for a little while, that's all right.  
  
He'll be back soon. He'll be back soon, and everything will be better after that.  
  
It is suddenly very difficult to concentrate..to even breath. The air suddenly seems oppressive, and there is a familiar jolt that emanates from the Sennen Ring hidden beneath my sweater.  
  
Familiar..this is the same feeling I get whenever - whenever I separate from Bakura.  
  
The chair scrapes against the floor as I stand, earning me a rather nasty look from the nearest librarian. I make a short mental note to rip her tongue out at some later date, but the jolt hits me again, and I feel like I'am being pulled apart- there is no pain, just dislocation and a sense of vertigo.  
  
I shove my way out of the library, trying to hold it back - hold him back. I knew that the Ring would eventually force Bakura out of itself, but I never thought it would be this soon. And how horribly inconvenient, in such a crowded part of town as we are.  
  
I just barely avoid an oncoming car as I cross the street, heading for a narrow alleyway where people are less likely to see us.  
  
A few blocks farther down the road, the car that nearly hit me stalls for no apparent reason, black smoke rising from the engine and billowing up into the early evening sky.  
  
Stupid humans and their noisy gasoline-powered carts.  
  
Stupid Bakura and his fucking idiotic Father.  
  
I was such a fool.  
  
I duck into the alley, out of sight of the general public, the feel of cold brick seeping through my shirt and chilling my backside.  
  
And then there was light.  
  
-TBC 


	10. I Am: Dependence

Kano: Heh. We're back, and so as not to confuse any of you..erm.. ' less mentally adept 'individuals, this is from Bakura's POV. No, I haven't forgotten about him at all. And I do realize this chapter I short, but oh well. I like it anyway.  
  
And also, there are translations for those of you who aren't completely fluent in Japanese:  
  
Youkai- Ghost/Phantom/Spectre  
  
Tenma- Evil Spirit/Demon/Fallen Angel  
  
Nushi- Owner/Master/Lover/God  
  
****  
  
I Am: Dependence  
  
****  
  
He is back.  
  
Back from wherever it is he goes during those spaces of time when he isn't beating me.  
  
That is how I have started measuring time.  
  
When he is here, and when he isn't.  
  
When he is yelling at me, and when he isn't.  
  
When he is hitting me, biting me, kissing me, and when he isn't.  
  
I've forgotten the names of the colors I used to see. They are a rare sight now, but when they do come they no longer have any shape, no meaning like they once did. I would miss them, but He tells me that they don't matter anymore.  
  
And they really, really don't.  
  
From my position on the floor, legs tucked up underneath me to give me some small amount of balance, he seems to tower over everything.  
  
He..  
  
I think he once told me his name. It..it was beautiful in an odd sort of way, I remember that much. It sounded like it should have been familiar to me, but I've forgotten it now.  
  
Or maybe he never told me at all.  
  
Youkai.  
  
Tenma.  
  
Nushi.  
  
These, among others, are the names I have for him now. Some I have created for him on my own, and others he has me call him. I do not know what language I speak; only that he understands it and that I understand him. That is enough.  
  
I feel him draw near, and I briefly wonder what today will be like.  
  
Will he hit me, kick and bite at me until I am bleeding and curled up on the floor? Will he taunt me with horror stories from a past I don't remember having, or will he sit down on the ground and pull me into his lap, stroke my hair while he whispers how sorry he is for everything?  
  
If he had only once said that he would change..that he wouldn't - maybe then I would believe him.  
  
But today he says nothing to me, and although he does crouch down in front of me it is not so he can draw me any closer to him.  
  
Instead he raises his hand and I flinch, waiting for the familiar feel of his knuckles bruising my skin.  
  
I wait.  
  
I wait.  
  
I wait.  
  
-TBC 


End file.
